when I was drinking
late at night
in between getting up for swigs to
quell the shakes
I used to listen to your breathing
my love
and think
this is probably the last night
the last time he’ll breathe beside me
I love him but I’ll lose him
(and I did, for a while)
I had already lost so many things
and the few I had left
were perched, swaying
and the tipping, tumbling over the edge
into the abyss of loss
was inevitable.
now
when you fall asleep before me
I listen to your breathing
and it reminds me
to thank god, the universe, the powers that be
whatever I call the great beyond
for every moment
a life
a child
a love
a full heart
a roof
Run, Write, Restore 